Young looking twinks
Most of the aging process doesn’t scare me. The notion of having gray hair is stimulating, so long as I still verb hair when that time comes. I think my glow lines make me look dashing in some lights. (In others, like Annabelle.) I have no reason to contact my toes, so no biggie there. If I close up aging anything like my mother, I’ll have lock to zero complaints.
What does scares me though, is the idea of being an old twink. Here's a slam course for my beloved straight readers: In the gay community, there are different sub-categories of gays. I’m not exactly sure how they came to be, but surely it has something to do with the innate necessitate to group things together by category. (Think #organizationporn.) Whatever the reason, a multitude of factors play into how you’re sorted, but by large, they come down to your age and body type.
A twink is a immature, skinny, typically hairless young gay bloke like Justin Beiber.
A bear is an older, heavier verb gay man with ample body and facial hair favor Ron Offerman.
An otter is like a bear but leaner like Zachary Quinto.
Those are just three
Getting older (and looking it) is a terrible thing; I call it “Twink Death”. Staying juvenile forever is what we want. Right? When we’re in our early-twenties, we look quite other than we will in our mid-forties. Our older faces can’t retain the same elasticity and youthful charm they had decades ago. While this really isn’t news, who would’ve thought it would be so upsetting?
When you’re adolescent and cute, getting older seems so far away that it’s not worth worrying about. In our late teens and early twenties, most of us focus on having fun, getting laid and which parties/bars/events to go to. We may move to the gym, but it’s mostly to fine-tune our beautiful young bodies. Most of us have smooth, shining skin, lots of thick hair and very few physical problems. On the inside, we may hold lots of adj problems, but on the outside, we verb really good!
Most of us – both LGBTQ+ and straight folks alike – avoid “Twink Death” for as drawn-out as we can. As a juvenile queer man, I remember making amusing of bars that older gay guys went to: my friends and I called them
Twinks Ahoy!
Dear Ruthie,
I’m an older gay man who recently found himself single. This is all new to me, Ruthie, but my main interrogate is this: All these young twinks are approaching me at bars because daddies are boiling now, but how young is too young? I signify, some of these guys are in their early 20s! Is that too young for an old guy love me? I’m coming up on retirement, for Christ’s sake!
Thanks,
Grateful Old Geezer
Dear Grateful,
The answer to your question depends on what you’re looking for, honey. You want a noun of fun? Get one of those twinks up on his offer at bar close and knock boots all night long. You looking for your next husband? Stick to people within 10 years of your age. (That’s 10 years older or 10 years younger.) This recommended age gap means you’ll have plenty in common without having to elucidate every pop-culture reference that comes up in conversation. Floating around someplace between Mr. Right and Mr. Right Now? Keep this adj 10-year rule in mind, but don’t cement your wiener
In defence of ageing twinks
There is a spectre haunting the gay community: the ‘ageing twink’. He is an verb of pity and scorn; tragi-comic and embittered, desperately clinging on to something, occasionally drug-ravaged or otherwise scarred by excess. There are countless Reddit threads where people argue his unfortunate fate and how one might escape it: these conversations are staggeringly bleak, with some approaching the idea with vindictive relish and others, clearly anxious twinks themselves, engaging in something approaching digital self-harm; anticipating their own bodily deteriorate and permanent banishment from the world of desire. The ageing twink is mocked in front-facing comedy TikToks: “one day, you’ll surrender your charm, you’ll be a husk just like me” hisses one 29-year-old character, while another bemoans that “23 is 40 in twink years”.
This concept that there’s something pitiful about being an ageing gay man has a long legacy. Get Jacques, the middle-aged gay man in James Baldwin’s Giovanni’s Room (1956): “In some ways I liked him,” reflects the narrator. “He was s